Happy Caturday, Furriends!
We have a royal guest today! Welcome Her Royal Majesty, Princess Foo Foo Victoria Anastasia Isabella Hobnobbery Vainglory the First of the Kingdom of “Purrsia” to this week’s edition of the Caturday Intermew Series!
Hazel: Hi Princess Foo Foo! Thanks for being here! What advice do you have for bright young kittens aspiring to build a web presence?
Princess Foo Foo: My royal advice to young kittens who aspire to build an online presence is to first, of course, procure the services of a professional human marketing team. Though humans are not the brightest bulbs in the chandelier, they do come in handy sometimes in terms of offering certain services that we felines require; for example: feeding us, cleaning out our litter boxes, pampering us and dealing with the hordes of fans we acquire online!
Hazel: And typing up meownuscripts!
Princess Foo Foo: Usually, humans are so far beneath us intellectually that we can actually convince them to do all these things for us free of charge by simply batting our eyelashes at them, purring, and tolerating their silliness.
Hazel: Who has been your biggest inspiration and why?
Princess Foo Foo: My biggest inspiration has been Princess Diana because she was “the people’s princess.” Even though she was beautiful, elegant, articulate and sophisticated, she still humbled herself to deal with the commoners. That’s what I try to do, of course!
Hazel: What do you like to read or watch?
Princess Foo Foo: My favorite literature includes Shakespeare’s Romeow and Juliet, Proust’s Remembrance of Things Scratched, and Fitzgerald’s The Great Catsby. The play I enjoy most is, of course, Tennessee Williams’ Cat on a Hot Tin Roof! As for films, I’m partial to Aristocats, Milo and Otis and That Darned Cat. The television programs I enjoy most are found on the Animal Planet network: Too Cute and My Cat from Hell. You forgot about music. I’m a big fan of Harry Chapin’s “Cats in the Cradle” and Tom Jones’ “What’s New Pussycat.”
Hazel: How do you feel about the rise of feline power, and how do you see that power shaping the world in the future?
Princess Foo Foo: The rise of feline power is inevitable and sorely needed in this world of increasing chaos. Frankly, being the Supreme Monarch of the Kingdom of Purrsia isn’t enough for me; I have a political platform and world domination is my goal. I wish to see catnip legalized, dive-bombing mockingbirds controlled, and Friskie’s “Party Mix” treats provided at no cost to kitties in need.
Hazel: Speaking of treats, who would you love to have dinner with? What would you eat and where?
Princess Foo Foo: I would enjoy having dinner with the two most handsome felines on earth: Sir Lucifur Fluffypants and Wilford Brimley, Persian Cat. In my romantic dreams, we would sip wine, feast on tuna and salmon, and purr softly beneath the moonlight on a secluded beach somewhere.
Hazel: That sounds nice! I wonder if Lucy is a distant cousin, hmm I have to check with Karen. What are some mistakes you’ve made and what did they teach you?
Princess Foo Foo: The worst mistake I made was knighting that scoundrel, Sir Charles of Brainerd! Sir Charles was a former traitor to the Kingdom of Purrsia who did not wish to see me emerge from exile in an animal shelter to return to my rightful place on the throne. I should have known he was trouble from the start, but being a trusting soul, I forgave him of his past disloyalty and knighted him only to find that he unleashed a vacuum beast from out of a secret chamber known as “the closet!” The beast roared through the palace, causing me to go into hiding beneath the royal bedchamber. I learned then not to trust that scoundrel, Sir Charles, any longer!
Hazel: Interesting, I think that’s the first kitty knighthood-regret I have heard! It has been an honor chatting with Your Highness, so to conclude: if you could say only one thing to a potential new or existing follower, what would you like them to know?
Princess Foo Foo: Here is my one word of advice to a potential new loyal subject or existing fan: When in my presence, please do not forget to bow or curtsy; otherwise, I may have to banish you from the kingdom. 🙂
Hazel: MOL thanks for the lovely intermew, Princess!
And thank YOU readers for reading!
A purry curtsy,